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Tea Time: Relationships are 50/50

Let's be real here, many relationships fail to recognize that relationships are 50/50. Let's talk about it. Note: this post is based on observing relationships. My opinions are my own.

Surprisingly, many people would come to me for dating advice. When people ask me what they should do if their relationship -- or friendship, is on the fritz, I will have an answer that makes sense to that person. It just depends on what the situation is. To date, I have seen many of the common relationships out there, including toxic and abusive ones. Believe me, I've seen it with my parents growing up.

Based on the relationships I have seen, I can see there is always a breakdown in the common principle most people call "50/50." Relationships are the stepping stones of human existence and whether they are romantic or friendly, our connection with other people define who we are and how we navigate a troubling society.

50/50 is the common piece of relationship advice I give because it is common sense to make sure everyone is on the same page. But what does this mean, and how can we include common sense into the picture? In this blog post, we'll explore some ideas of the 50/50 relationship principle.

What is the 50/50 principle, anyway?

The principle is pretty self-explanatory: both partners in a relationship should contribute to the relationship in an equal way. The concept denotes balances, equity, and shared responsibilities. Now, this doesn't mean splitting everything down the middle. Sometimes, it's important to take time for each other as well. Remember, being around each other too much could lead to toxicity later on.

The Role of Common Sense

While the 50/50 principle is a valuable guideline for healthy relationships, it's not a rigid formula. Common sense is the key to making it work effectively. Here are some ways in which common sense plays a vital role:


Common sense dictates that open and honest communication is essential in any relationship. Both parties should feel comfortable sharing their thoughts, feelings, and needs. Listening actively and empathetically is equally important. Many times, I observe communication is the breaking point for many relationships to begin to fall apart. Common sense reminds us that assumptions and mind-reading can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts.


Life is unpredictable, and relationships often face unforeseen challenges. Let's face it, every second of our day, we are face with an even tougher challenge than the last. Common sense advises us to be flexible and adaptable. Sometimes, one partner might need to contribute more in times of crisis, illness, or emotional distress, while the other supports and understands. This flexibility maintains the overall equilibrium of the relationship.

Empathy and Understanding

Common sense reminds us that everyone has their strengths, weaknesses, and unique circumstances. It encourages us to empathize with our partner's struggles and celebrate their successes. Instead of focusing on rigid equality, common sense encourages us to support each other through the ups and downs of life.

The 50/50 principle provides a valuable framework for building healthy and balanced relationships. However, it's common sense that adds the nuance and depth required to make it work in the real world. By emphasizing open communication, flexibility, empathy, shared values, and individual self-care, we can create relationships that thrive and endure.

Remember that every relationship is unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all solution. What matters most is the genuine effort and intention to create a partnership where both parties feel valued, respected, and loved. In the end, a successful relationship is not just about the numbers but about the depth of connection and the common sense that guides us on this journey together.


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