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I feel better about myself.

Updated: Oct 29, 2022

"Are you gay?"
"Does your mom know you are gay?"
"Do you like boys?"

Questions from people that have been constantly answered no. These questions resulted in me being bullied for my assumed sexuality. People were quick to judge my sexuality with no evidence to support their assumption. Over the course of middle and high school, sexuality has been the main cause of bullying.

These questions started to arise on the first day of middle school. A group of students came up to me laughing and smirking and asked about my sexuality. When I answered no, they would laugh and it would make me look foolish in front of the entire class. One day, I had spoken with my counselor about this issue. She was very nice and she was like a mom in a way. "People might call you gay, but only you know who you are," she said. "In order to solve this problem, you must find who you are."

This advice gave me a lot of thinking time. During middle school breaks and holidays, I would sit in my room and think about who I am. Sometimes, I wouldn't go to sleep or eat. After I had completed middle school, I was still in the thinking phase of my life.

High school was beyond challenging, which is why I called the high school "The Battleground." It got its name because my sexuality was rumored on the first day, which resulted in a LOT of drama from everyone. As usual, people assumed with no supporting evidence. It was those same questions from middle school and the bullying intensified greatly. Despite being bullied, I was still in the thinking phase of my sexuality. I came to the realization that I was heterosexual, which meant that I'm a man who likes women.

Of course, students didn't really believe I was straight. I couldn't figure out why they didn't believe me. I wasn't shy to talk to girls. In fact, I have many girl best friends throughout both middle and high school. It still wasn't supportive enough to believe by the student body.

When I began college, I started my thinking phase again. My roommates were constantly talking about sex and everything specific about it too. It happened so many times to the point where I felt uncomfortable sometimes.

After tireless days of thinking and researching, I came to a revelation. I found out that I am asexual. For those who may be unfamiliar with the term, asexual means that a person lacks sexual attraction to others, or has a low interest in sexual activity. This does not mean that I am against having sex, I just show little interest in it. However, it is common for asexual people to have romantic (not sexual) attractions to others. I'm still classified as being heterosexual, just with little to no interest in sexual activity.

Coming out as asexual was very tough and I didn't know whether or not I would get support from the community on identifying myself as asexual. I feel a lot better about myself and a sense of accomplishment that I was able to come out. It's been a tough journey, but it's only the beginning.


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